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Profiles in Courage: A Crimson Guard Story
The Crimson Guard are Cobra’s most elite shock troops. The members of the Guard are usually high-ranking officials in society. Most of the time these members are surgically altered to resemble one another should one fall and another is needed to take their place. There is one courageous exception. We are only allowed to refer to him as Crimson Guard No. 237, but he has climbed the ranks of Cobra against such hardships and a personal handicap that would cause most of us would give up on our goals or even life itself. You see, Guard 237 was born with two left hands. Where his right hand should have been was another left. As you can probably guess, growing up as a kid for 237 was difficult. His handicap made him a target for his school chums who called him such names as Lefty and Lefter McLefticlops. “I tried to not let the name calling get to me that much,” said 237, remembering his rough childhood, “I was determined to show them all that my two left hands made me better. I was going to work hard and become successful.” After high school No. 237 attended a prestigious law school. We are not allowed to say which school because of the confidentiality needed for the Crimson Guards. 237 graduated with high honors. Shortly after his graduation, he enlisted in Cobra. “I chose to join Cobra because of their righteous ideals,” said 237, “and maybe because I wanted some payback for everyone that said I could never be anything.” After the initial training that all Cobra recruits must endure, 237 was transferred to Snow Serpent training. The Snow Serpent training regimen is one of the most grueling of the entire Cobra organization because so much of it is performed in sub-zero temperatures. 237 knew that if he could complete it and become a Snow Serpent, he would be able to achieve anything in Cobra. He was right. 237 served as a Snow Serpent for a year before there was an open-call for any Cobra troops interested in becoming Crimson Guards. He passed the Crimson Guard screening by showing the Guard Commanders how he turned his two left hands into an advantage during battle. His training for the Guard was going decently, however one incident made him stand out to none other than Cobra Commander himself. “It was during one of our meals,” 237 said, recounting the incident. ”Another Guard trainee was mouthing off about the Commander and my handicap. He said ‘Cobra Commander must be out of his mind letting a damn abortion like you try out for the Guard. We’re supposed to the best Cobra has. I’m amazed the ‘Joes haven’t picked off your sorry freak show hide yet.’” “I had enough so I grabbed his throat with my right left hand and jammed my spoon into his shoulder blade. I told him this: ‘You can say all you want about me, but if you ever bad mouth the Commander again I will shove more spoons in even more uncomfortable places… like the back of a Volkswagen, beeyotch.’” 237 was also known for his sharp wit. “Well it was barely ten minutes before Cobra Commander showed up in the mess hall. He stood before me as the other soldier was still lying writhing in pain on the floor. He told me that my kind of brutality and loyalty was something great and rare. He said that I should visit the throne room later that night. When I arrived I was honored with the Crimson Guard ceremony and promoted to a Guard. It was unbelievable," said 237. "While most Guards are surgically altered, the Commander told me that I should not be, that I should remember how the world had treated me so that I would never become disloyal to my own ideals, or Cobra's. Plus, two left hands does have its advantages, as the Baroness has discovered.” When asked about the other soldier, 237 stated that he heard Cobra Commander fed him to his dogs. That was three years ago. These days Guard 237 oversees a hanger of attack helicopters and Cobra H.I.S.S. tanks. His law degree has not gone to waste as he is also a personal law advisor to Crimson Guard leaders Tomax and Xamot and even Cobra Commander. “Those twins may seem creepy and try to scare off the recruits, but they're intelligent guys. They said that since I didn’t have surgery I would be too distinguishable in civilian life, so they keep me on as their personal law advisor. It’s a great gig. I am proof that anyone, no matter what their handicap, can achieve their goals. Soon the world will know the might of Cobra and, you know, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Cobra!” - Shawn - 11/08/06 This page is pretty funny, but do you understand what makes it funny? Would you like to know what makes the mind react that way? You should consider getting your degree in psychology. By getting your bachelor's degree online from one of our online education providers, you can work towards a career in the field of your interest. |
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